Actus primus, Scena prima.
Enter Iustice Shallow,
Slender, Sir Hugh Euans, Master
Page, Falstoffe, Bardolph, Nym, Pistoll, Anne Page,
Mistresse Ford, Mistresse Page, Simple.
perswade me not: I will make a Star‑Chamber
it, if hee were twenty Sir
Falstoffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow
In the County of Glocester,
Iustice of Peace and
I (Cosen Slender) and Cust‑alorum.
I, and Rato lorum too; and a Gentleman
(Master Parson) who writes himselfe Armigero, in any
Quittance, or Obligation, Armigero.
I that I doe, and haue done any time these three
All his successors (gone before him) hath don't:
all his Ancestors (that come after him) may: they
may giue the dozen white Luces in their Coate.
It is an olde Coate.
The dozen white Lowses doe become an old
Coat well: it
agrees well passant: It is a familiar beast to
and signifies Loue.
The Luse is the fresh‑fish, the
salt‑fish, is an old
I may quarter (Coz).
You may, by marrying.
It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
Not a whit.
Yes per‑lady: if he ha's a quarter of your coat,
there is but three Skirts for your selfe, in my simple
iectures; but that is all one: if Sir
Iohn Falstaffe haue
committed disparagements vnto you, I am of the Church
and will be glad to do my beneuolence, to make
ments and compremises betweene you.
The Councell shall heare it, it is a Riot.
It is not meet the Councell heare a Riot: there
is no feare
of Got in a Riot: The Councell (looke you)
shall desire to
heare the feare of Got, and not to heare a
Riot: take your
viza‑ments in that.
Ha; o' my life, if I were yong againe, the sword
should end it.
It is petter that friends is the sword, and end
there is also another deuice in my praine, which
peraduenture prings goot discretions with it. There is
Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page,
Mistris Anne Page? she has browne
speakes small like a woman.
It is that ferry person for all the orld, as iust as
you will desire, and seuen hundred pounds of Moneyes,
and Gold, and Siluer, is her Grand‑sire vpon his
bed, (Got deliuer to a ioyfull
resurrections) giue, when
she is able to ouertake
seuenteene yeeres old. It were a
goot motion, if we leaue
our pribbles and prabbles, and
desire a marriage betweene
Master Abraham, and Mistris
Did her Grand‑sire leaue her seauen hundred
I, and her father is make her a petter penny.
I know the young Gentlewoman, she hasgood
Seuen hundred pounds, and possibilities, is
Wel, let vs see honest Mr Page: is
Euan. Shall I tell you a lye? I doe despise a
lyer, as I
doe despise one that is false, or as I despise
one that is not
true: the Knight Sir Iohn is there, and I beseech you be
ruled by your
well‑willers: I will peat the doore for Mr.
Page. What hoa? Got‑plesse your house
Here is go't's plessing and your friend, and
heere yong Master Slender: that
uentures shall tell you another tale, if
matters grow to
I am glad to see your Worships well: I
thanke you for my
Venison Master Shallow.
Master Page, I am glad to see you:
doe it your good heart: I wish'd your
Venison better, it
was ill killd: how doth good
Mistresse Page? and I thank
you alwaies with my heart, la: with my heart.
Sir, I thanke you.
Sir, I thanke you: by yea, and no I doe.
I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
How do's your fallow Greyhound, Sir, I heard
was out‑run on Cotsall.
It could not be iudg'd, Sir.
You'll not confesse: you'll not confesse.
That he will not, 'tis your fault, 'tis your fault:
'tis a good dogge.
A Cur, Sir.
Sir: hee's a good dog, and a faire dog, can there
more said? he is good, and faire. Is Sir Iohn Falstaffe
Sir, hee is within: and I would I could doe a
office betweene you.
It is spoke as a Christians ought to speake.
He hath wrong'd me (Master Page.)
Sir, he doth in some sort confesse it.
The Merry Wiues of Windsor.
If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that
Page?) he hath wrong'd me, indeed
he hath, at a
word he hath: beleeue me, Robert Shallow Esquire, saith
he is wronged.
Here comes Sir Iohn.
Now, Master Shallow, you'll
complaine of me to
Knight, you haue beaten my men, kill'd my
broke open my Lodge.
But not kiss'd your Keepers daughter?
Tut, a pin: this shall be answer'd.
I will answere it strait, I haue done all this:
That is now answer'd.
The Councell shall know this.
'Twere better for you if it were known in
you'll be laugh'd at.
Pauca verba; (Sir Iohn) good worts.
Good worts? good Cabidge; Slender, I broke
your head: what matter haue you against me?
Marry sir, I haue matter in my head against you,
against your cony‑catching Rascalls, Bardolf, Nym,
You Banbery Cheese.
I, it is no matter.
How now, Mephostophilus?
I, it is no matter.
Slice, I say; pauca, pauca: Slice, that's my humor.
Where's Simple my man? can you
Eua. Peace, I pray
you: now let vs vnderstand: there
is three Vmpires
in this matter, as I vnderstand; that is,
Master Page (fidelicet
Master Page,) & there is my
(fidelicet my selfe) and the three party is
(lastly, and finally)
of the Gater.
We three to hear it, & end it between them.
Ferry goo't, I will make a priefe of it in my
note‑booke, and we wil afterwards orke vpon the
with as great discreetly as we can.
He heares with eares.
The Teuill and his Tam: what phrase is this?
he heares with
eare? why, it is affectations.
Pistoll, did you picke M. Slenders purse?
I, by these gloues did hee, or I would I might
in mine owne great chamber againe else, of
in mill‑sixpences, and two Edward
that cost me two shilling and
two pence a
peece of Yead Miller:
by these gloues.
Is this true, Pistoll?
No, it is false, if it is a picke‑purse.
Ha, thou mountaine Forreyner: Sir Iohn,
Master mine, I combat challenge of this Latine
word of deniall in thy labras here; word of denial; froth,
and scum thou
By these gloues, then 'twas he.
Be auis'd sir, and passe good humours: I will
marry trap with you, if you runne the nut‑hooks
on me, that is the very note of it.
By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for
cannot remember what I did when you made
me drunke, yet I
am not altogether an asse.
What say you Scarlet, and Iohn?
Why sir, (for my part) I say the Gentleman had
himselfe out of his fiue sentences.
It is his fiue sences: fie, what the ignorance
And being fap, sir, was (as they say) casheerd: and
conclusions past the Car‑eires.
I, you spake in Latten then to: but 'tis no
Ile nere be drunk whilst I liue
againe, but in honest,
ciuill, godly company for
this tricke: if I be drunke, Ile
be drunke with those that
haue the feare of God, and not
with drunken knaues.
So got‑udge me, that is a vertuous minde.
You heare all these matters deni'd, Gentlemen;
Nay daughter, carry the wine in, wee'll
Oh heauen: This is Mistresse Anne
How now Mistris Ford?
by my troth you are very wel met:
by your leaue good
Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome: come,
we haue a hot
Venison pasty to dinner; Come gentle
hope we shall drinke downe all vnkindnesse.
I had rather then forty shillings I had my booke
and Sonnets heere: How now Simple, where
haue you beene? I must wait on my selfe, must
haue not the booke of Riddles about you, haue
Booke of Riddles? why did you not lend it to
Alice Short‑cake vpon Alhallowmas
last, a fortnight afore
Come Coz, come Coz, we stay for you: a word
Coz: marry this, Coz: there is as 'twere a ten
a kinde of tender, made a farre‑off by Sir
doe you vnderstand
I Sir, you shall finde me reasonable; if it be so,
I shall doe that that is reason.
Nay, but vnderstand me.
So I doe Sir.
Giue eare to his motions; (Mr. Slender) I
description the matter to you, if you be capacity of
Nay, I will doe as my Cozen Shallow saies:
pray you pardon me, he's a Iustice of Peace
in his Countrie,
simple though I stand
But that is not the question: the question is
concerning your marriage.
I, there's the point Sir.
Marry is it: the very point of it, to Mr. An
Why if it be so; I will marry her vpon any reasonable
But can you affection the 'o‑man, let
to know that of your mouth, or of your lips:
Philosophers hold, that the lips is parcell of
therfore precisely, cancā you carry your
good wil to yͤ maid?
Cosen Abraham Slender, can you loue
I hope sir, I will do as it shall become one that
Nay, got's Lords, and his Ladies, you must speake
possitable, if you can carry‑her your desires
That you must: Will you, (vpon good dowry) marry
I will doe a greater thing then that, vpon your
request (Cosen) in any reason.
Nay conceiue me, conceiue mee, (sweet Coz):
What I doe is
to pleasure you (Coz:) can you loue the
I will marry her (Sir) at your request; but if
bee no great loue in the beginning, yet Heauen
decrease it vpon better acquaintance, when wee
married, and haue more occasion to know one ano
I hope vpon familiarity will grow more content:
if you say mary‑her, I will mary‑her, that I am
dissolued, and dissolutely.
The Merry Wiues of Windsor.
It is a fery discretion‑answere; saue the fall is in
the 'ord, dissolutely: the ort is (according to our
ning) resolutely: his meaning is good.
I: I thinke my Cosen meant well.
I, or else I would I might be hang'd (la.)
Here comes faire Mistris Anne; would 1
yong for your sake, Mistris Anne.
The dinner is on the Table, my Father desires
I will wait on him, (faire Mistris Anne.)
Od's plessed‑wil: I wil not be absenceabsēce at
Wil't please your worship to come in, Sir?
No, I thank you forsooth, hartely; I am very well.
The dinner attends you, Sir.
I am not a‑hungry, I thanke you, forsooth: goe,
Sirha, for all you are my man, goe wait vpon my Cosen
Shallow: a Iustice of peace sometime
may be beholding
to his friend, for a Man; I keepe but
three Men, and a
Boy yet, till my Mother be dead: but what though, yet
I liue like a poore Gentleman borne.
I may not goe in without your worship: they
will not sit
till you come.
I'faith, ile eate nothing: I thanke you as much as
though I did.
I pray you Sir walke in.
I had rather walke here (I thanke you) I bruiz'd
shin th' other day, with playing at Sword and
ger with a Master of Fence (three veneys
for a dish of
stew'd Prunes) and by my troth,
I cannot abide the smell
of hot meate since. Why doe your
dogs barke so? be
there Beares ith' Towne?
I thinke there are, Sir, I heard them talk'd of.
I loue the sport well, but I shall as soone quarrell
as any man in England: you are afraid if
you see the
Beare loose, are you not?
I indeede Sir.
That's meate and drinke to me now: I haue seene
Saskerson loose, twenty times, and haue taken
him by the
Chaine: but (I warrant you) the women haue so
and shrekt at it, that it past: But women
abide 'em, they are very
ill‑fauour'd rough things.
Come, gentle M. Slender, come; we
stay for you.
Ile eate nothing, I thanke you Sir.
By cocke and pie, you shall not choose, Sir: come,
Nay, pray you lead the way.
Come on, Sir.
Mistris Anne: your selfe shall goe
Not I Sir, pray you keepe on.
Truely I will not goe first: truly‑la: I will
not doe you that wrong.
I pray you Sir.
Ile rather be vnmannerly, then troublesome: you
selfe wrong indeede‑la.
Host, Bardolfe, Nym, Pistoll, Page.
Mine Host of the Garter?
What saies my Bully Rooke? speake schollerly,
Truely mine Host; I must turne
away some of my
Discard, (bully Hercules) casheere; let
I sit at ten pounds a weeke.
Thou'rt an Emperor (Cesar, Keiser
I will entertaine Bardolfe: he shall draw;
he shall tap; said
I well (bully Hector?)
Doe so (good mine Host.
I haue spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth,
liue: I am at a word: follow.
Bardolfe, follow him: a Tapster is a good trade:
an old Cloake, makes
a new Ierkin: a wither'd Seruing
fresh Tapster: goe, adew.
It is a life that I haue desir'd: I will thriue.
O base hungarian wight: wilt yu the spigot wield.
He was gotten in drink: is not the humor conceitedcōceited?
I am glad I am so acquit of this Tinderbox: his
Thefts were too open: his filching was like an
Singer, he kept not time.
The good humor is to steale at a minutes rest.
Conuay: the wise it call: Steale? foh: a fico for
Well sirs, I am almost out at heeles.
Why then let Kibes ensue.
There is no remedy: I must conicatch, I must
Yong Rauens must haue foode.
Which of you know Ford of this Towne?
I ken the wight: he is of substance good.
My honest Lads, I will tell you what I am about.
Two yards, and more.
No quips now Pistoll: (Indeede I am
in the waste
two yards about: but I am now about no
waste: I am a
bout thrift) briefely: I doe
meane to make loue to Fords
spie entertainment in her: shee discourses: shee
she giues the leere of inuitation: I can construe
the action of her familier stile, & the
hardest voice of her
behauior (to be
english'd rightly) is, I am Sir Iohn
He hath studied her will; and translated her will:
out of honesty, into English.
The Anchor is deepe: will that humor passe?
Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her
Purse: he hath a legend of Angels.
As many diuels entertaine: and to her Boy say I.
The humor rises: it is good: humor me the angels.
I haue writ me here a letter to her: & here ano
to Pages wife, who euen now gaue
mee good eyes
too; examind my parts with most
iudicious illiads: some
times the beame of her
view, guilded my foote: some
times my portly
The Merry Wiues of Windsor.
Then did the Sun on dung‑hill shine.
I thanke thee for that humour.
O she did so course o're my exteriors with such
greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye, did seeme
to scorch me vp like a burning‑glasse:
letter to her: She beares the Purse
too: She is a Region
in Guiana: all
gold, and bountie: I will be Cheaters to
them both, and
they shall be Exchequers to mee: they
shall be my East and
West Indies, and I will trade to
them both: Goe,
beare thou this Letter to Mistris Page;
and thou this to Mistris Ford: we will thriue (Lads) we
Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
And by my side weare Steele? then Lucifer take all.
I will run no base humor: here take the humor‑Letter; I will keepe the hauior of reputation.
Hold Sirha, beare you these Letters tightly,
Saile like my Pinnasse to these golden shores.
Rogues, hence, auaunt, vanish like haile‑stones;
Trudge; plod away ith' hoofe: seeke shelter, packe:
Falstaffe will learne the
honor of the age,
French‑thrift, you Rogues, my selfe, and skirted Page.
Let Vultures gripe thy guts: for gourd, and
Fullam holds: & high and low beguiles the rich &
Tester ile haue in pouch when thou shalt lacke,
Base Phrygian Turke.
I haue opperations,
Which be humors of reuenge.
Wilt thou reuenge?
By Welkin, and her Star.
With wit, or Steele?
With both the humors, I:
I will discusse the humour of this Loue to Ford.
And I to Page shall eke vnfold
How Falstaffe (varlet
His Doue will proue; his gold will hold,
And his soft couch defile.
My humour shall not coole: I will incense Ford
to deale with poyson: I will possesse him with
nesse, for the reuolt of mine is dangerous:
that is my
Thou art the Mars of Malecontents: I
thee: troope on.
Enter Mistris Quickly,
Simple, Iohn Rugby, Doctor, Caius, Fenton.
What, Iohn Rugby, I pray thee goe to the
ment, and see if you can see my Master,
comming: if he doe (I'faith) and finde any body
in the house; here will be an old abusing of Gods
ence, and the Kings English.
Ile goe watch.
Goe, and we'll haue a posset for't soone at night,
(in faith) at the latter end of a
Sea‑cole‑fire: An honest,
willing, kinde fellow, as euer seruant shall come in house
withall: and I warrant you, no tel‑tale, nor no
bate: his worst fault is, that he is
giuen to prayer; hee is
something peeuish that way: but no
body but has his
fault: but let that passe. Peter Simple, you say your
I: for fault of a better.
And Master Slender's your
Do's he not weare a great round Beard, like a
No forsooth: he hath but a little weeߛface;
little yellow Beard: a Caine colourd Beard.
A softly‑sprighted man, is he not?
I forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as
betweene this and his head: he hath fought with
How say you: oh, I should remember him: do's
hold vp his head (as it were?) and strut in his gate?
Yes indeede do's he.
Well, heauen send Anne Page, no worse
Tell Master Parson Euans, I will doe
what I can for your
Master: Anne is a good girle, and I
Out alas: here comes my Master.
We shall all be shent: Run in here, good young
into this Closset: he will not stay long: what
Iohn Rugby? Iohn: what
Iohn I say? goe Iohn, goe en
quire for my Master, I
doubt he be not well, that hee
comes not home: (and downe, downe, adowne'a.
Vat is you sing? I doe not like des‑toyes: pray
goe and vetch me in my Closset, vnboyteene verd;
a Box, a
greene‑a‑Box: do intend vat I speake? a
I forsooth ile fetch it you:
I am glad hee went not in himselfe: if he had found the
yong man he would haue bin horne‑mad.
Fe, fe, fe, fe, mai foy, il fait for ehando, Ie
man voi a le
Court la grand affaires.
Is it this Sir?
Ouy mette le au mon pocket, de‑peech
Vere is dat knaue Rugby?
What Iohn Rugby, Iohn?
You are Iohn Rugby, and you are Iacke Rugby:
Come, take‑a‑your Rapier, and come after my heele
to the Court.
'Tis ready Sir, here in the Porch.
By my trot: I tarry too long: od's‑me: que ay ie oublie: dere is some Simples in my Closset, dat I vill not
for the varld I shall leaue behinde.
Ay‑me, he'll finde the yong man there, & be
O Diable, Diable: vat is in my
Villanie, La‑roone: Rugby, my
Good Master be content.
Wherefore shall I be content‑a?
The yong man is an honest man.
What shall de honest man do in my Closset: dere
honest man dat shall come in my Closset.
I beseech you be not so flegmaticke: heare the
of it. He came of an errand to mee, from Parson
I forsooth: to desire her to—
Peace, I pray you.
Peace‑a‑your tongue: speake‑a‑your
To desire this honest Gentlewoman (your Maid)
speake a good word to Mistris Anne
Page, for my Ma
ster in the way of
This is all indeed‑la: but ile nere put my finger
in the fire, and neede not.
Sir Hugh send‑a you? Rugby, ballow
paper: tarry you a
The Merry Wiues of Windsor.
I am glad he is so quiet: if he had bin through
moued, you should haue heard him so loud, and so
lancholly: but notwithstanding man, Ile
doe yoe your
Master what good I can: and the very
yea, & the no is, yͤ
French Doctor my
Master, (I may call him my Master,
for I keepe his house; and I wash, ring, brew,
scowre, dresse meat and drinke, make the beds, and
'Tis a great charge to come vnder one bodies
Are you a‑uis'd o'that? you shall finde it a
charge: and to be vp early, and down late: but
standing, (to tell you in your eare,
I wold haue no words
of it) my Master himselfe is in
loue with Mistris Anne Page:
but notwithstanding that I know Ans
neither heere nor there.
You, Iack'Nape: giue‑'a this Letter to
Hugh, by gar it is a shallenge: I will cut
his troat in de
Parke, and I will teach a scuruy Iack‑a‑nape Priest to
meddle, or make: — you may be gon: it is not good
tarry here: by gar I will cut all his two stones: by
gar, he shall not haue a stone to throw at his
Alas: he speakes but for his friend.
It is no matter 'a ver dat: do not you tell‑a‑me
dat I shall haue Anne Page for my
selfe? by gar, I vill
kill de Iack‑Priest:
and I haue appointed mine Host of
de Iarteer to
measure our weapon: by gar, I wil my selfe
haue Anne Page.
Sir, the maid loues you, and all shall bee well:
We must giue folkes leaue to prate: what the
Rugby, come to the Court with me: by gar,
I haue not Anne Page, I shall turne your
head out of my dore: follow my heeles, Rugby.
You shall haue An‑fooles head of
No, I know Ans mind for
that: neuer a woman in Windsor knowes more of Ans minde then I doe, nor can doe
more then I doe
with her, I thanke heauen.
Who's with in there, hoa?
Who's there, I troa? Come neere the house I pray
How now (good woman) how dost thou?
The better that it pleases your good Worship to aske?
What newes? how do's pretty Mistris Anne?
In truth Sir, and shee is pretty, and honest, and
gentle, and one that is your friend, I can tell you that
the way, I praise heauen for it.
Shall I doe any good thinkst thou? shall I not loose
Troth Sir, all is in his hands aboue: but
withstanding (Master Fenton) Ile be
sworne on a booke
shee loues you: haue not your Worship a
Yes marry haue I, what of that?
Wel, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such
Nan; (but (I detest) an honest maid as euer
bread: wee had an howres talke of that wart; I
laugh but in that maids company: but (in
is giuen too much to Allicholy and musing:
but for you—
well— goe too⸺
Well: I shall see her to day: hold, there's mo
for thee: Let mee haue thy voice in my behalfe: if
thou seest her before me, commend me.⸺
Will I? I faith that wee will: And I will tell
more of the Wart, the next time we haue
and of other wooers.
Well, fare‑well, I am in great haste now.
Fare‑well to your Worship: truely an honest
Gentleman: but Anne loues hiim not: for I
minde as well as another
do's: out vpon't: what haue I